


Me, You, and the Bathroom Fan

by compo67



Series: Chicago Verse [128]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Banter, Curtain Fic, Dialogue-Only, Domestic, Domestic Bliss, Domestic Fluff, Established Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Established Relationship, Ficlet, Flirting, Growing Old Together, Grumpy Old Men, Home, M/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-12-18 17:02:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18254102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/compo67/pseuds/compo67
Summary: Dean works on swapping out the bathroom fan. Sam works on something else.





	Me, You, and the Bathroom Fan

 

“Hold the ladder, Sam. That’s your one and only job.”

“First of all, you’re standing on an IKEA stool because you’re too lazy to get the actual ladder from the garage. Second, I stopped holding it two minutes ago.”

“I’m gonna report your ass to OSHA. Fucking fan. Goddamn mother…”

“I’m starting a swear jar. Are you fixing it or are you marrying it?”

“Excuse me, did someone want to do this instead? Do you have any idea how gross this thing is?”

“I offered. I’ve changed out bathroom fans before. But you had to puff out your chest, strut over, and put on some macho mating display.”

“…is it working?”

“Not yet.”

“What if I talk like this.”

“Like a plumber from New York?”

“What if I pose like this.”

“Talk about plumber from New York, ass crack.”

“Do you believe in climate change?”

“You know I do, Dean.”

“Then shut up so I can solve it.”

“Heckling is part of the job. If you can’t take it, move out of the way.”

“Hand me a screwdriver, jerk face.”

“Here.”

“This thing is older than the freaking house.”

“How could it be older than the house.”

“The sadistic people who built this house bought this first, probably hauled it out of the dump, and installed it right here for me to fuck with hundreds of years later.”

“If only all the demons and bad guys over the years had known Dean Winchester’s weakness: a single bathroom fan.”

“We are going to Home Depot and you’re gonna like it.”

“I like Home Depot!”

“Then why did you make a stink about going last time?”

“Because I told you not to install the new sink by yourself!”

“So there was a little sludge. Life is messy. Get the bag ready, it’s almost out…”

“How romantic.”

“I try, sweetheart. Here. You don’t have the bag ready?!”

“Oh, whoops.”

“I don’t wanna touch this thing longer than I have to, Sam!”

“Sucks to be you. Let me take a picture of it so we can compare it against stuff at Home Depot. Hold still.”

“This could be the beginning of a great porn vid.”

“I’ll staple gun your dick to the fan.”

“Yeah? Well, I’d like it, so there.”

“Ugh. Whatever. Put it in the bag and be done with it.”

“Now who’s romantic?”

“Did you take out ground beef like I asked?”

“Yeah, yeah. Look at this thing. It’s a token from hell.”

“Pretty sure hell had more dangerous tokens.”

“I’d use this as a torture device. Be all, where were you on the night of the seventeenth?! Then whip this out and drive them insane with the relentless blast of noise.”

“You’ve thought about that before, huh?”

“Maybe a little. Helps me work through trauma.”

“That’s surprisingly insightful. Are you ready? If I lose you in Home Depot, I’m gonna pick another grumpy old man and take him home.”

“I was in the lighting section, I couldn’t have been more visible if I tried.”

“I think… you need hearing aids.”

“No. Nope. Nuh uh.”

“You can’t keep blaming stuff on the fan.”

“The fan is evil. You’re fucking bossy.”

“I am fucking him, thanks.”

“Oh, stop.”

“Hearing aids. It’s happening.”

“I wanna age gracefully, asshole.”

“Yeah, and I wanna believe humanity will be able to reverse the effects of global warming within the next twenty years.”

“Bleak, Sam. Bleak.”

“Look. You can wear hearing aids and still age gracefully. Whatever that means. Because you are the worst old person ever.”

“Did you take your blood pressure pill?”

“Yeah.”

“This old person is still making sure you take care of yourself, so show some respect.”

“Dean.”

“…Sam.”

“I’ll buy you whatever you want at Home Depot.”

“A bribe, eh? Why should I consider?”

“I wasn’t going to tell you this, but they’re having a sale on lawn mowers.”

“Fuck yes! What did I tell you? They’d go on sale eventually. Grab the stuff. Let’s go. Ronaldo said he’d let me test drive the shiny red one.”

“They let you test drive a lawn mover?”

“They do now.”

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote a thing! A short thing, but a thing! 
> 
> I'm sick with a damn cold and in pain from a flare up, but wow, i wrote a thing! :D 
> 
> Comments are love. <3


End file.
